If you are looking to save your marriage, you may be thinking that counseling could work. This article aims to give you a few guidelines to consider before you go any further to help you save some time and possible heartache.
We have all known someone who has masses of qualifications but no real people skills and counselors are no exception. Just because they have a whole load of degrees and evidence of training courses, doesn’t mean that they will be any good or indeed any good for you.
Yes, that counselor might have a wall of certificates, he or she may come highly recommended but will their actual counseling style suit you? There are a lot of counseling methods like local psychotherapist calgary, person-centered,and cognitive behavioral therapy just to mention three. Will any of these be for you? It isn’t one size fits all.
I once went to a counselor who wanted to interpret my dreams and came to the conclusion that the man I vaguely remembered from a dream who was wearing an orange jumper was my long-dead grandfather and encouraged me to “speak” to him. I didn’t get it, didn’t believe it and didn’t think it would work for me. I didn’t feel supported, and that is important in any counseling session, rather I felt a bit like a bewildered guinea pig.
Counseling is of course primarily about talking and indeed you may feel more comfortable talking about your relationship problems with someone objective and independent. Sometimes just talking is enough, but often you need to be able to develop your own ways of tackling your relationship issues and you need your counselor to be able to help you with that.
So you do need to sit down and decide what you actually want from your counselor before you make that appointment. If you are looking just to sound off and have someone listen to you, well there are plenty of counselors who will help you with that, but if you want to be able to make some real changes you need to be given the equipment to do that, some techniques that you can take away with you to start using to make those changes.
Think about your marriage as well. This can be a confusing issue. After all, you are thinking of counseling to save your marriage, aren’t you? You may be surprised to find that saving your marriage isn’t really what you want. Sometimes talking things through with an appropriate counselor can make you see things that you haven’t seen before and you may have to reconsider your options.
What a lot of people want in the marriage is a supportive and loving partner and that can often be a disappointing part. Your partner or spouse may not be willing or able to help you with your journey and may not be willing to make the necessary changes so be prepared for that. There may be some tough decisions to make once you have started to go through counseling.